Actions- Bucky Barnes x Reader

    Groggily walking into the kitchen of the Avengers Tower, you yawn quietly.  It was nearly 3 in the morning, and you had woken up from a nightmare.  It wasn't too terrible of one, the kind that could easily be forgotten, but you couldn't fall back asleep.  You had decided to get a glass of water to try and soothe yourself back to sleep.  Entering the living area, you spot someone at the island counter.  You're able to recognize the hunched over figure as Bucky.  A small frown makes its way onto your face as you make your way over to him.

    "Can't sleep?" you ask, grabbing a glass from the cabinet.  He nods his head silently, not even flinching at the sudden sound of your voice.  You sigh as you fill the glass with water, looking over at him.  His face was hidden from you behind his hair.  You set your glass down on the counter before turning to him.  Gently, you rest a hand on his shoulder.  He flinches at the contact, stopping himself from shaking it away.

    "Do you want to talk about it?" you whisper.  He hesitates before shaking his head.  You weren't disappointed though.  Usually, he'd off gone back to his room without a word by now.  Nodding in understanding, you remove your hand and sip at your water.  You leaned on the counter next to him, your shoulders close to touching.  He doesn't move, but you can feel him studying you.

    "Why are you so nice to me?" his gruff voice questions.  Typically, you'd jump at the suddenness of the question, but you were expecting him to say something.  You turn to him as your eyebrows furrow lightly in confusion.

    "Why wouldn't I be?"
   
    "I'm a monster," he states without hesitation.  You almost didn't get your whole sentence out, like he knew what you would ask. 

    "You aren't a monster, Bucky," you insist.  You stare at him unwavering, trying to think of the right words to say.  Everything you could think of, he had probably already heard.  You doubted you could say anything to convince him he wasn't horrible.  He turns away from your gaze, staring at the marble counter top again.  He opens his mouth before closing it again as he thinks about how he wants to word what he's about to say.

    "Do you know how many people I killed?" he asks, turning to you with bloodshot eyes.  Your chest aches at the pain in his expression.  He was so lost and conflicted.  His body shakes almost unnoticeably  as he stares at you.

    "And don't say that it wasn't me, because it was.  I'm the one who killed those people.  It was me, not anyone else," he sounds like he's begging you to believe that he was a monster.  His voice had gradually gotten louder, starting at a whisper now on the verge of yelling.  He quickly turns away from you, squeezing the counter with his hands.  The counter cracks where his metal arm grasps it.

    "I-I'm a monster," he whispers.

    Without thinking, you wrap your arms around his waist from the side.  You rest your forehead on his shoulder.  He made it clear you couldn't convince him otherwise with your words.  He stiffens in your hold, turning his head to look at you.  He doesn't seem to realize as he relaxes into your embrace.  He removes his human arm from your grasp and you think he's going to pull away.  Just as you begin to loosen your grip to prevent making him uncomfortable, a warm arm is wrapped around your shoulders.  He faces his whole body towards you as he pulls you closer.  Your eyes widen in amazement.  This was the most he had come out of his shell since he met you.  You feel him nuzzle his face in your hair as you tighten your grip on him.  But something was off.  You think for a moment, wondering what was missing.  You look to your right and see his metal arm still at his side.  Grabbing it, you put it around your waist, forcing that arm to embrace you too.  After doing so, you resume hugging the super soldier.  He felt uncomfortable with his metal arm around you, but when you tightened your grip on his waist, something in him melted.

    Maybe actions did speak louder than words.